How to Deal With Negative Reviews of Our Books By Phyllis Zimbler Miller

We are fortunate to have Phyllis Zimbler Miller back with us to discuss a subject that we all will deal with from time to time. If you're unprepared to deal with negative comments about you, then it can be a very stressful time when it happens. Phyllis shares some great advice in dealing with negative comments that inevitably surface from time to time when you put yourself in the public eye.

Before we get to her advice, I wanted to ask you to check out my free video tips for authors. In this week's video, we look at creating a favicon for your Blogger blog. I am also re-running my video on creating and uploading a favicon to your website. Just sign up for my free subscription and you will receive this week's tip, as well as weekly video tips that walk you through some of the more technical aspects of marketing your book on the Internet. In fact, when you sign up, I will give you immediate access to over 45 minutes of free video tips. Reading how to do something is one thing; looking over the shoulders of an expert as he or she does it can make all the difference in the world. Feel free to visit my sign-up page to view a free sample video now before making your decision.

Now, on to Phyllis's post...


How to Deal With Negative Reviews of Our Books
By Phyllis Zimbler Miller

Let’s face it – to most authors our books are our children. We've slaved over them, raised them to adulthood, and sent them out into the world to what we hope is universal appreciation.

The truth is often much different. And it's very hard for us to suffer attacks on our books and on our expertise. (Perhaps you’ve written a marketing book and the negative review attacks your marketing knowledge in addition to your book in general.)

Below are some words of advice to help deal with this situation. And I can write the following with knowing where authors are coming from.

When my novel MRS. LIEUTENANT came out in April of 2008 after having been an Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award semi-finalist and then getting many positive reviews, I got two very negative reactions (not reviews) to the novel, which takes place in 1970.

These reactions were so negative that it was clear to me that the attackers had personal issues (either about the Vietnam War or the military or SOMETHING) that motivated the attacks.

What enabled me to calm down was the assertiveness training course I took in Philadelphia many, many years ago. This was a course based on Manuel J. Smith's book WHEN I SAY NO I FEEL GUILTY (still available on Amazon).

http://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel-Guilty/dp/0553263900/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1248724323&sr=1-1

In the course we practiced calmly dealing with personal attacks on us. It was the most liberating exercise I’ve ever done.

Is it always easy to remember this training when I’m attacked? No. Is it a good idea to take a few moments and then remember this training? Yes.

Basically here is the assertiveness training strategy (and Alice Hoffman would have been wise to have followed it):

DO NOT RESPOND TO ATTACKS. DO NOT TRY TO REASON WITH THE ATTACKER. DO NOT ENGAGE.

What we learned in assertiveness training is that any excuse you give – any defense – will just be used against you by a person determined for his/her own personal reasons to attack you. (The person may be jealous of your success, may have been yelled at by a spouse and wants to take out anger on anyone else, may just be a mean spiteful person.)

Tony has given me permission to share with you that he was recently attacked by someone. Luckily, he had read my Examiner.com article about suffering "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."

http://www.examiner.com/x-8114-Internet-Business-Examiner~y2009m7d9-Whether-tis-nobler-in-the-mind-to-suffer-the-slings-and-arrows-of-outrageous-fortune

Even though Tony wanted to respond explaining how the woman was wrong in her attack, he sat on his typing fingers and did NOT respond.

And he admits that he had earlier responded to another attacker, and now he realizes that he gave the first attacker what she wanted – publicity – even though he "was very polite" in his response.

People who attack – it's all about them. It's not about you.

If you get a negative book review – remind yourself that you’re lucky you aren't the kind of person who has the need to attack others – and shrug it off. And whatever you do, don't send the negative review around to your friends saying "look what this idiot wrote."

Yes, things on the Internet stay forever. But negative reviews, if you don't draw attention to them, will fade over time under a mountain of good reviews that you'll get.

Smile, take the negative review in stride, and – instead of firing back replies – use your writing time to work on the next book.


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Phyllis Zimbler Miller's company launched the monthly program www.WeTeachWebMarketing.com and also does Twitter tutorial workshops – see www.TeachMetoTweetNow.com – besides building WordPress websites for book authors and business owners.

Phyllis' novel Mrs. Lieutenant (www.MrsLieutenant.com) was a 2008 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award semi-finalist and she writes National Internet Business Examiner articles at www.InternetBizBlogger.com. You can follow her on Twitter at www.Twitter.com/ZimblerMiller.